Spiked Mace

You’ve likely already guessed it, but this one is going to be a bit random. Just a bit of fun

 

While listening to Christmas Music…

 

Andrew: “Hey, what group is this?”

Me: “Hmm, I’m not sure.”

Andrew: “Is this Nickelback?”

Me: “No, definitely not.”

Andrew: “Oh, I know who it is.  Is this the group we went to see in concert?”

Me: “Kutless. No, it isn’t Kutless.”

Andrew: “For some reason I was thinking Spiked Mace.”

Me: “Spiked Mace? So you knew the band name was the name of a weapon, but Spiked Mace is what you came up with!? Why!?” *laughing*

Andrew: “I don’t know. That’s all I could come up with.”

Me: *laughing some more* “What kind of group would choose the name Spiked Mace?  They’d have to be Heavy Metal.”

Andrew: “Spike Mace would be the lead singers name.”

Me: “Haha, you’re funny! What was the first group you named?”

Andrew: “Nickelback.”

Me: “They definitely wouldn’t be playing Nickelback on this station.”

Andrew: “That’s true. The day that Chad Kroeger drops a Christmas album is the day that we’ve seen everything in this world, and we can say, ‘Take us home Lord, we’re done!’”

***

If you’ve never heard the Nickelback song “Far Away” then check out the video below.  Better yet, start the video, then read through my parody “Santa Sleighs”

 

Santa Sleighs (to the tune of “Far Away.”)

 

[Verse 1]

This rhyme, this mace

Missed muse, fruitcake

Too wrong, I overate

Who was I to stay up late

Just fat pants, just one stretch

Just in case there’s one orange left

 

[Pre-Chorus]

‘Till it snows

It snows

It snooooooooooooooooooows

 

[Chorus]

I love him

I loved him all along

And I miss him

He hasn’t sleighed for far too long

I stopped wreathing, don’t have a tree

Won’t you let it snow?

I’ll stop wreathing

If I don’t see him anymore

 

[Verse 2]

On my skis, ski mask

Lance clash for one last blast

‘Cause for him I’d withstand

An avalanche to show this man

I’d give it all, I’d give my lunch

I’d even sing, just to see kids bunch

[Pre-Chorus]

‘Till it snows

It snows

It snoooooooooooooooooooows

 

[Chorus]

I love him

I’ve loved him all along

And I miss him

He hasn’t sleighed for far too long

I’ve stopped wreathing, don’t have a tree

Won’t you let it snow?

I’ll stop wreathing, if I don’t see him anymore

 

[Bridge]

Santa sleighs (Santa sleighs)

He hasn’t sleighed for far too long

Santa sleighs (Santa sleighs)

He hasn’t sleighed for far too long

 

[Pre-Chorus]

But it snows

It snows

It snooooooooooooooooooows

 

[Chorus]

I wan-ned

I wanted him to sleigh

‘Cause I needed

I need to see his sleigh

I love him (I love him)

I loved him all along

And I forgive him (I forgive him)

For being away for far too long

So keep wreathing

‘Cause I’m not feeling it anymore

Let’s wreath it

I bought a tree, won’t you let it snow?

 

[Outro]

Keep wreathing

‘Cause I’m not feeling it anymore

Believe it

I bought a tree, won’t you let it snow?

Keep wreathing

I bought a tree, won’t you let it snow?

Keep wreathing

I bought a tree, won’t you let it snow?

 

Tina

December 8, 2018

***

Dedicated to my twin who will never hear this song the same way EVER again. lol…  Either I just made his Christmas better, or I ruined this song for him, forever. Hopefully it was the first one! Lol! Miss you Monkey.

Merry Christmas Bub! Love youuuuuuuuu. ❤

And hey…look! Nickelback does sing Christmas songs after all!