[The Lord gives me strength and makes me sing]
As we drove to church yesterday morning the song that was playing over the radio spoke volumes to me. The song that played was this: “Whom Shall I Fear? (God of Angel Armies),” sung by Chris Tomlin.
The thing is I have had fear. In fact I’ve had quite a bit of fear this last week. However, it wasn’t any “whom” that I was fearing. It was a particular “what” that I was fearing; this “what” was depression.
Mid week I felt myself succumbing to depression once again. It’s not just hard on me, it’s also hard on Andrew to see me like that.
He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t fix it. Saturday morning was rough, so Andrew prayed for me, and then we spent the day nestled close to each other watching shows. I needed the distraction, and I needed the closeness. My mood did shift throughout the day, but that fear was still there, so I felt very needy and clingy, as I feared that depression would overtake me again.
That Peace is Still There
Sunday morning I had a better start to the day. I made every effort not to stress myself out. I dressed casual and kept my hair simple. (No fuss, no muss, right?) Andrew and I worshipped on our drive to church, and like I said at the beginning of this entry “Whom Shall I Fear” was speaking to my heart. I felt calm, and I even felt joyful again as I sang along. That peace, evidently, is still there.
Made to Fly
Though the sermon was very good, and a few mentions caught my ear, and met my heart, it was the worship that spoke to me the loudest. As we sang Casting Crowns “Thrive” I caught Andrew singing, “we were made to fly,” and I playfully gave him a hard time for singing the words incorrectly. He just smiled at me and kept singing his own version. As he repeatedly sang, “we were made to fly,” it sunk in. This is the theme of this very journal: “flying lessons”. We were in fact made to fly (or thrive).
In Jesus, we shall rise. Not only from the grave, but from every fall, and from every trial that we face as well. (Isaiah 40:41) We’re never truly alone. Though depression has a way of making you feel very isolated and alone, God assures us that He will be with us through every storm.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6
Sometimes it’s not a “whom,” that we fear; instead it’s a “what.” Yet God promises to go before us. This means He’s already worked it out, leaving us free to worship and praise Him even before we have those answers or those cures. I do take comfort in that, as I praise and worship Him. He is worthy of our praise no matter the weather, for He is faithful even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13).
Anything is possible…”
We were made to fly [thrive].
I was going to post both of the songs I mentioned above, but God gave me this song this morning instead!
“The Lord gives me strength and makes me sing.” –Exodus 15:2
Next in this series—>A Mere Fledgling