Captain’s Blog – Earthdate 02-11-2018
[Awkward stages of growth]
I can’t be the only one grappling with the pangs of growth. Recently I was reading how the Bald Eagle has to go through some awkward patterns of plumage growth before it’s bright white head of feathers grows in fully, and I’ve felt that way myself– just awkward. Am I trying to fit in, or am I trying to be different? While I’m trying to grow, I’m also trying not to lose the genuine me. I’ve been asking for too many opinions, and those opinions are starting to oppose one another, only creating confusion. (Why do I do this to myself?)
The problem is in all the “trying,”— and I’m trying way too hard. Instead of praying and trusting God, I’m praying and trying to figure everything out. (I always do this) I don’t know how to wait, and I don’t always accept that God is the one working out my kinks. I like to try and convince myself that I’ve got things in the bag, but then it becomes clear pretty quickly that I don’t, when that pep in my step turns to discouragement or fear. Then I run back to God for that peace of mind, and He’s kind enough to appease His imbalanced (yet loveable?) daughter.
I need to keep asking–like we all do–for the things I need. Then I need to trust that God will provide, even when it comes to what He wants to achieve in me. I need to stop “trying” and just do. The best word of advice I received recently was “Just do your thing.” (I do realize–with the wrong perspective–this could be dangerous advice too, but it made me think.) I realized I wasn’t “just doing my thing” I was forgetting who God created me to be, and I was trying to reach for something else. (Something more)?
“So don’t be too good or too wise! Why destroy yourself? On the other hand, don’t be too wicked either. Don’t be a fool! Why die before your time? Pay attention to these instructions, for anyone who fears God will avoid both extremes.” —Ecclesiastes 7:16-18
While I do want to keep growing, it doesn’t mean I should “try” so hard to change. The things that need to change He’ll change if I’m asking, I just need to keep listening and obeying while I step out in faith, and “just do my thing.”
“Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act.” –Psalm 37:5
P.S. Thanks Daryl, and yes I’m sporadically posting on a Sunday with no rhyme, reason, or pattern. I’ve gotz me a plan hatchin’ though, but today—today I do my glorious thing.