[Something I wrote many moons ago when I was struggling with depression. For the most part I am depression free. I have my moments. Socially I don’t feel nearly as awkward as I used to, but there is still room for improvement. It can and it does get better, though. Moving closer to God, and seeing others in a whole new way, has helped me to be kinder to myself, which has helped tremendously.]
MOUNTAIN
I can’t stop looking at this mountain
It looms like an awful great wall
And I can’t see beyond for the shadows
Like echoes, the past I recall
And I fear that I’ll fail before I’ve begun
And I fear there’s no fix for the “damaged” I’ve become
I’m in pieces in places I’ve never fit in
And I fear that this mountain is going to win
No I can’t stop looking at this mountain
I’ve assessed it from all it’s great views
And I just can’t see past for it’s sheer great size
And for fear that I’m going to lose.
I’m stepping out of the boat
And I’m starting to sink
It’s like facing my giant
And I’m starting to shrink
It’s like Hearing the call
And just wanting to dart
It’s like sounding retreat
Before the war’s even start
Because I fear that I’ll fail before I’ve begun
And I fear there’s no fix for the “damaged” I’ve become
I’m in pieces in places I’ve never fit in
And I fear that this mountain is going to win
But I know there’s One greater than this mountain I face
And I know that He hears me, He who once took my place
Though He died to unchain me, my Lord He still lives
And He carries me through, and true life He does give.
Tina (GK)
February 9, 2011
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